Accurate

So the due date for the next member of our brood is 9/22/09.  Clearly this is not 100% accurate but we should be within 1 week either way barring any unforeseen issues.  Based on this here is what September is like in my household - 

• September 1st – Olivia Ann (youngest at the moment)
• September 3rd – Joseph (me)
• September 26th – Lindsay Kim (weefe)
• September 26th – Rhea Kim (eldest)

This means we will now have all 5 of us in the same month.  Now some people say “what are the odds” and to them I would say you must not know me.  Odds are for suckers and gamblers.  I make plans for when I intend to sit down and make plans.  Precision planning is what I call it.  If you are not sure what that means look at everything that has happened in DC over the last 8 years and imagine if it was all reversed.  That is a nice visual indeed.

Deja-Blog

Did I write the previous post before? I somehow feel like I did but I cannot find it or point to any evidence that proves I did. I am either going nuttier than normal or I am blogging (not blago-ing*) in my sleep.

Deja Vu – A) the illusion of remembering scenes and events when experienced for the first time. B) a feeling that one has seen or heard something before. C) something overly or unpleasantly familiar.

*Blago-ing – A) To lie B) To believe your own lie C) To not think that your lie is a lie as it did occur in your head and your head alone.

Educational Indeed

I have aimlessly walked through many airport gift shops the last few years and rarely have I found a great item to buy.  Well add this one to the great list –  

 

Clean & Bloodless!

I am not the guy who enjoyed dissecting the frog in school by any means but this is pretty slick.  It is basically a 31 piece puzzle with the parts being things such as webbing and a three chambered  heart.  I wish my kids were old enough to get this but it does not come with a dress and it will not turn into a prince at any point.  This one however could have been a prince but we are really far off from buying this - 

 

Do They Also Make A 3-D Flabby Man?

So Many Topics So Little Time

My brain is about to explode as it is containing far too many tiny details relating to multiple blog entires that I need to get in.

Memo to myself –

- Inauguration
- New U2 Track
- Baby Due Date
- Freaky Frog Toy
- Movie Reviews

Plus I have to get the Oscar buzz going as we have the Annual Oscar Pool coming up very quickly. However, tonight can be summed up with one word –

METALLICA

F’in A man. F’in A Man.

I Only Like Mini Food

What the heck am I going to do about a car?  It took 2+ years to even become a two car household and I hate that as it is.  Now with a 3rd on the way I am going to have to get a new, car but what?  I sure as hell do not want a mini-van.  I gave up enough moving out to the suburbs.  I gave up moving further out to the suburbs/rural hickville.  Enough is enough, I draw the line, I declare war – No mini-van.

Ok so now what?  Do I get a ginormous vehicle that can also double as a monster truck?  Do I get a wood paneled station wagon and let them fight it out 3 across?  So much of parenting is a byproduct of your own childhood but I had one sibling, thats it and trust me car seats were not required back then so what do I do?

Well I have no idea but beside the no mini-van concept I can take one more stand - 

 

NEVER, NEVER, FUCKING NEVER.

Lazy Boy

Although this trip has been far from lazy I sure have been lazy posting here. Plenty of ideas swirling around (and annoyances) but I have to sit down and write. Planning to do exactly that over the next 2 days.

1st Night – Movies

Well I have not enjoyed the road much lately based on the places and also my desire to be a shut-in. However, I decided to get off on the right foot for this SF trip and catch two movies the first night…The Wrestler & Quantum of Solace. More to come on those two later but a nice start indeed.

Doom Is Always Closing In

 

Pester Son, 2:00

 

 

Are we all genetically doomed?  I realize I do not have to exactly follow in the footsteps of my parents but am I still going to put my shoes next to theirs?  I am not talking about decisions and choices.  I am talking about straight out genetics.  Will I end up having cancer?  How about congestive heart failure?  Diabetes anyone?  Will I make it past 65 or is that as long as the chain can pull?

Maybe I am fucked, but shit I hope I can hold on to my memory.  If I start taping notes to myself I might need to tape “start smoking and drinking tomorrow, 11am” so I can get going toward the diseases a bit quicker.

Wives Tales

God bless wive’s tales and the crazy europeans who have brought this tradition to America.  

It’s a boy if - 

• You didn’t experience morning sickness in early pregnancy 
• Your baby’s heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute 
• You are carrying the extra weight out front 
• Your belly looks like a basketball 
• Your areolas have darkened considerably 
• You are carrying low 
• You are craving salty or sour foods 
• You are craving protein — meats and cheese 
• Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy 
• The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy 
• Your hands are very dry 
• Your pillow faces north when you sleep 
• Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you 
• Pregnancy has you looking better than ever 
• Your urine is bright yellow in color 
• Your nose is spreading 
• You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles 
• You are having headaches 
• You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number

It’s a girl if - 

• You had morning sickness early in pregnancy
• Your baby’s heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute
• You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear
• Your left breast is larger than your right breast
• Your hair develops red highlights
• You are carrying high
• Your belly looks like a watermelon
• You are craving sweets
• You are craving fruit
• You crave orange juice
• You don’t look quite as good as normal during pregnancy
• You are moodier than usual during pregnancy
• Your face breaks out more than usual
• You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread
• Your breasts have really blossomed!
• Your pillow faces south when you sleep
• Your urine is a dull yellow color
• You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side
• You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number

This is a pretty crazy yet comprehensive list.  Anyone got other ones as I would like to know if a prince is entering the kingdom (doubtful) or another princess (likely).  

Hint….we (not quite me) are expecting.

Can We Opt For The Water Landing?

 

Looks Like It Won't Crash.

 

 

So I clearly have a preference for American Airlines.  Most other airlines fall into 2 other categories…”ugh” and “oh hell no”.  To get a sense of scale on this here are a few examples - 

• United – “Ugh”
• Southwest – “Oh Hell No”
• Jet Blue – “Ugh”
• Cathay Pacific – “American-Like”
• China Air – “Oh Hell No”
• Northwest – “Ugh”

Now until recently I had not flown on US Airways in a long time so they were still unblemished in my life.  Not anymore.  ”Oh Hell No” is the official designation.  Grocery list below - 

• $15 per baggage.  I know it should be expected but it still blows.
• $30 to move from seat 26F (next to the filth depository) to 6D.  The damn seat is open anyway so why the hell does this matter.  
• I have to pay for a Diet Coke?  Hey I expect to pay $6 for a shitty box lunch on all airlines but $2 for a DC?  Does that come with ice or is that extra?  How about the cup?  Why don’t you just pour that shit in my hands for like $0.10 ala Chris Rock.
• Optional flight attendants.  Did I pay less for my ticket as I believe we are missing something.  Portland to Phoenix to Chicago.  4 times I saw someone who might resemble a flight attendant but it could have just been a passenger wearing all blue with too much peroxide in their hair.
• And finally as I try to just work the flight away I put down my tray and see this for the next 5 hours….

Enjoy Your Flight.

We know you have a choice when flying so next time you want to fly in a bio-waste filled tube with $2 Diet Cokes please choose US Airways.