Sky Mall Crapatorium

Flying as much as I do I could literally spend the rest of my life writing blog entries regarding stupid Skymall products.  I often look through this catalog during landing as I have used up all my other reading and entertainment tools.  The catalog itself is beyond stupid but the idea of reaching in that seat back pocket and touching anything in there is enough for me to vomit in the back of my throat but what can you do once you have exhausted all other forms of entertainment including reading the ingredients on the can of Diet Coke for the 12th time?  

So in that spirit I present 2 of my favorite items in case you are looking for any last minute gift ideas – 

 

The Slanket

The Slanket

Presenting the Slanket for only $44.99.   I think this would be great when I snuggle up on the couch to play WoW or maybe watch The Deadliest Catch. Except for the fact that I would first have to deal with the ridicule from my wife and family and secondly and more importantly I would have to cut my nuts of. Skymall text below for your enjoyment – 

  • Here’s the best blanket – hands down – for snuggling up with a book or laptop computer. Put your arms in the 13″ -wide sleeves and then turn pages, type, knit or do anything else with your hands without uncovering your body. The generously sized Slanket in midweight polyester fleece feels great and keeps you warm indoors or out. Machine wash and dry. 60″ W x 95″ L. Available in five colors.

 

Pet Observation Dome

Pet Observation Dome

Presenting the Pet Observation Dome for grrr-errific (Really sorry) price of $29.99.  This can work two ways.  If your dog is a bowl half empty type of canine than you can put this moron-bubble facing your Michael Vick like neighbors and he can get a clear picture of what is in store if he/she keeps on complaining and chewing on your shit.  If you dog is more the bowl half full kinda pup then aim the doggy peephole to the neighbors who play with their dogs all day long so they can be cut down a notch or two as who wants an overly peppy pup.  Either way you can retain the upper hand in the war between man and dog until cats finally rule the world .  Sorry, different tangent started there I think.  Skymall text below for your enjoyment – 

  • This clear acrylic dome opens a window to the world that helps satisfy a pet’s natural curiosity while maintaining safety and security. The porthole mounts easily over a hole cut into the fence and the 9-1/2″ diam. dome protrudes 5″ to give an inquisitive canine a panoramic view of the world beyond. The black plastic flange secures the porthole into any style of wood privacy fence. Spacing several portholes along the fence gives your pet an unfettered view of its surroundings and may help reduce barking or other undesirable behaviors. 12-1/2″ Diam. x 5″ D. (3 lbs.).

Enjoy and let me know if you need any more gift ideas at all.

About martineden

I am not here to please anyone.
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3 Responses to Sky Mall Crapatorium

  1. Lindsay says:

    Ahhhh yes, the slanket. I have a feeling I will find you incredibly sexy in something so leisurely. Order me the pink one…

  2. dave says:

    the Slanket is the greatest invention since Chia Head!

  3. martineden says:

    I agree the Chia Head is brilliant but you cannot leave out other marvels like the Clapper or its ilk.

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