The older I get the more I think about the angles.  I am not talking about the nefarious ones per se but just the overall angles to everything.  The straight-aways and broad strokes of youth get replaced as time dwindles by slight and almost imperceptible angles.  In my youth I always thought about the great plans, the list of all lists, the accomplishments that would bring me the greatest amount of joy and prosperity.  I always thought about the end game result, the net net of my life and I always thought it would be determined in these broad strokes.  And now I realize that the angles are what bring me everything on a day to day basis, sadness and happiness but life none the less.

The simple answer could be age brings about this change as mortality can be as honorable a reason to change as any.  It could be having a family and seeing how precious each day is through your children’s eyes and how there is never enough days to tell them you love them.  Again, this is still a fairly broad stroke.

The angles are much finer and rarely go beyond minutes as a child’s domain resides in seconds most of the time.  The laugh or flash of anger in a loved one.  The glance of a child or a singular word.  These angles seem to be the ultimate deciders as this is what shapes and moves me.  They move me a step this way or a thought that way but clearly enough to alter my life.  I am not sure why I thought about this but I have been thinking about it awhile.  I just want to watch and enjoy each one of the angles and let the rest of it fall as it may.

About martineden

I am not here to please anyone.
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