Flawed

I am fairly petty and a good deal vengeful.  By petty I mean to say that sometimes I take the slightest offense to heart and by vengeful I mean I will allow that pettiness to drive me beyond anger to a more premeditated state.  The pettiness is clearly a character fault but is my vengeful nature a flaw?

Clearly I have left a bit of a wake at various times of my life and burned a few bridges in the process but none that I regret.  Being completely honest I still have some vengeance to attend to and I have to say I look forward to it.  I sometimes daydream about it and most of the times I wish I could do it in a more hateful way.

However, I need to relax a bit on the pettiness pedal and a try to use the brake a bit more.  Allowing a slight or two to roll off my back might be useful in the future.  Getting past a grudge might be helpful as well down the line.

However, I am not quite done with the eye for an eye part and be to honest I want more than a few eyeballs trophies still.  If that is a fault I will live with it.

Update:  I wrote this post about 5 days ago on a flight from China to Chicago as something came up that stirred up some of my nicely semi-hidden venom.  Now that I read what I have written I think I need to amend the vengeance part.  Vengeance seems so hateful and indeed it is petty.  Vindictive is a better word.  In my own world vindictive is more appropriate when attempting to right a wrong and bring some sort of justice to it’s end.  Vindictive seems much more thought out than vengeance.  And much more thorough and I like that.

 

About martineden

I am not here to please anyone.
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