The Civil War Got It A Little Wrong

The day the Confederacy surrendered to the Union we should have told every single black person that you have 6 months to get the hell out of those states and come up north where heads are used to store brains and not simply to hold up pointy white hats.  After the 6 months was up we should have contacted Jefferson Davis and said congratulations….you’re independent now.  Go have a blast and contact us when you want to re-open trade routes.

There is no need for further bloodshed but we should break apart once and for all.  We can have a similar currency and free passage or we could even create a One USA rule with two mega states if it makes it easier to stomach.  We just need to separate and due to sooner rather than later.

This came to my mind when reading about Montana’s current sodomy laws.  Clearly the law is unconstitutional and I would even hope that Justice Slick Hair/I Like To Party would agree with it as well.  However, the monkey known as state Rep. Ken Peterson (R) has made it clear to everyone that he thinks it is a valid law and constitutional.  He continues to argue/suggest that there are still at least two prosecutable offenses with them being

  1. The “recruitment” of non-gays
  2. Public displays of same-sex affection
Really?  In 2011 you say that out loud and it never occurs to you that you are that stupid?  To address both “prosecutable” offenses here is my official rebuttable-
  1. The “recruitment” of non-gays.  From the time I was 17 until I was 21 I would say that the 85% of them were gay.  I was never recruited and never heard of such stupidity in all that time.  Since then (15 years) I have worked with many, many gay people (Although far less than before) and again this has never, ever, ever once been discussed.  If you really think that gay people are trying to recruit you that I would bet you have your own little skeleton begging to be “recruited” out of the closet.  Sheer stupidity at its core that ranks right up near the top of the dumb-ass pile.
  2. Public displays of same-sex affection.  So two chicks or dudes kiss and it freaks you out enough you want them in jail?  How about this…all public displays of affection are banned.  Even animals as that might be the case in Montana more than other places.
This nut job is crazy as crazy comes and it really makes me seriously think about splitting up the red/blue states or as I like to call them Fucking Idiots / Normal Brains.  This is not about some financial disagreement and if you really, truly think that gay people are recruiting then I don’t want you in my country (All Men Created Equal…ahem) and further I wish you were not a part of the human race.
And one last thing Rep. Ken Peterson, you are clearly gay and I think the gay people are wishing the heterosexuals would recruit you back.

About martineden

I am not here to please anyone.
This entry was posted in Douchebag Of The Week, Fuckers, Politics. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Civil War Got It A Little Wrong

  1. sheila says:

    “where heads are used to store brains and not simply to hold up pointy white hats”

    this is utter brilliance. kudos my friend.

  2. martineden says:

    I clearly have some issues. By the way…awesome photos! I almost wanted to go to India after seeing them. Almost.

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