Look I just don’t get Facebook. If you like it, go ahead and enjoy it. I do though have a few thing that I would like to gently point out –
- These fucking idiots who post tear filled congratulations to their 1st graders about how they are growing up so fast. Who the fuck is this for? It is not for the kids so it is obviously for you. For all 336 of your closest friends to tell you how fast it is going and how great a parent you are and how cute your kids are? You need to stop this shit and just lead your life. Stop snapping photos to get more praise heaped on yourself for no reason other than the fact that you procreated.
- While I am on it….why would you share photos of you’re fucking kids online to so called friends? I can honestly understand Facebook as a way to share photos, memories and other things with family and close friends….but if you have 100 people on your list that is not what you are doing. We spend so much of our life protecting our children and trying to educate them about the potential danger of putting shit on the internet as IT NEVER goes away and you then post whatever, whenever you want. Seriously you are sharing PHOTOS of your kids to over 500 people and you have no idea how they are accessing it and who might else be using this. You are a fucking retard.
- Checking in. No one cares where you are. No one. If you have something to say about something you are doing, go ahead. However, don’t check in to Target and then your local Chinese restaurant as no one fucking cares.
- Stop soap boxing. We know you love golf, MMA, yoga and whatever else. You do not need to convince anyone how great it is. If you like it more power to you but stop proselytizing it. I have as many opinions (if not more) as the next person but why do you cram your own love of vegan foods or motorcycles down all 869 of your “friends” throats? You know why…you are a fucking idiot.
- Stop collecting people. Some people are not your friends and that is ok. You do not need to just add them to a collection like a stamp or a coin. He who dies with the most FB friends, still dies. Although you might get some tearful posts in your honor.