Two Thoughts…And BTW I’m A Social Pariah

First thing, 12/06/11 is the release date for the new Black Keys album.  Great video for first single, Lonely Boy below –

Second thing, start smoking.  In the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s you smoked to fit in.  Hang with the fun crowd and be able to sit in on the best moments.  Now days, if you smoke you are a social pariah.  You smell funny, you have to excuse yourself and if you have kids you could also be confused with the devil if seen with a cigarette.  However, I have found a tactic that relies on smoking and all the “second hand benefits”.

Let’s say you are forced to go to a party.  Let’s say you are not exactly having a social butterfly moment and would rather be anywhere, including Lucifer’s colon, then making small talk with 80% (I did not say 100% for the record Judge) of the room.  What to do?  If you stand in one area you appear to be an asshole (I am by choice), if you talk to the same 1 person all night you appear to be a hermit (I am by choice) so what other options do you have.

You go outside and smoke.  Every 10 minutes.

No one wants to be around you while you are smoking and no one wants to be around when you get back in as you smell like smoke.  If people say, “I did not know you smoke” you can respond with such witty banter as…”It’s a new hobby” or “Trying to get back into it” and they will think you are witty (I am) or again an asshole (See above).  Trust me.  now go out and purchase a pack and keep them on you in case.  THink of it like a personal safety device like mace except for the fact that you might kill yourself but then again that is still better than small talk.

About martineden

I am not here to please anyone.
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