My Autobiography Title

Posted on
Reply

“I’m not narcissistic, I’m an egomaniac”

When discussing my many flaws with the weefe we touched upon narcissism and agreed it does not quite fit me.  Now being an egomaniac does so one of us said the above and I want to keep that as an optional book title or new blog sub-title down the road.

Here are the exact Webster’s definition so you decide for yourself…

Narcissism -Inordinate fascination with oneself;excessive self love; vanity / erotic gratification derived from admiration of one’s own physical or mental attributes.

Egomania – Obsessive love for oneself and regard for one’s own need.
Ok, maybe I need to re-work the title to be “I’m narcissistic but I’m a super egomaniac”

Fuck You I Want Proof

Posted on
5

I am tired of those in the spotlight who blame all their woes on addiction.  From now on I want concrete proof you have a true addiction to the substance/action you say you have an addiction too on live tv.

If you claim you are an alcoholic I want to see you drink a bottle of jack, take a swing at someone and this piss yourself prior to your enrollment in any phony clinic.  If all you do is drink a glass on wine and lie to your husband about whom you just fucked that does not count and you cannot claim alcohol as your crutch.  In this situation someone like Mel Gibson could show he has a problem and therefore I believe his story.

If you claim to have a sex addiction I want to see cameras following you around 24 hours a day and I want them to capture you screwing a cantaloupe at 3pm and then getting a hand job from a migrant worker at 4:30pm.  If you are just using this excuse to sleep around than you fail.  Eric Benet is an example of a failed addiction.

This might be a harsh but I want proof of hardcore addiction before you can continue on your public career.  This means Ms. Lohan cannot be in another bad Herbie the Lovebug movie until she publicly drinks herself into a stupor (Not that I doubt her ability).  If Demi Moore wants to claim some addiction I want to see her with a can of Ready-Whip and a bag of over sized balloons for a good 4 hours straight otherwise no GI Jane Part Deux.

I want to go back to a time when your movie stars had addiction problems for their entire life and never backed down from it.   I do not want some reality TV starlet just saying she is addicted to meth as an excuse for her poor upbringing and behavior.  If you are, then show me your rotten teeth or new dentures prior to filming Celebrity Apprentice 20.

 

Not Brilliant

Posted on
2

Combine a few too many jack & coke’s followed by some nice wine and concluding with some Noel Gallagher. This will not be a stellar night of sleep but infinitely brilliant when it comes to my dreams I assume.

Shut Up For 2 Minutes

Posted on
Reply

I am not sure when it became all the rage to talk incessantly in an elevator but someone needs to put a quick stop to this. If your friend cannot wait the 2 minute ride to hear about your inane life and good fortune then you should move on in life without them. If your partner needs to discuss the details of your family life and future plans as soon as you step in an elevator I am going to ruin the ending for you….you will get divorced in less than 3 years.

Please learn to be civil and shut the fuck up if you are sharing the elevator with others. i love to people watch and even overhear the odd conversation in a public place but an elevator is like a church. Shhhhhhhhhh. Nothing you have to say, ever, is so important you need to squeeze it in right then.

This lesson in civility brought to you be the belligerent, yet civil man.

Almost Time

Posted on
3
Again, it is early January and I am behind not only on movies but also the general award season leading up to the 6th Annual Oscar Pool at the BM. For those of you new to the BM every year my wife and I run an Oscar Pool ($5 entry) and the winner normally walks away with $100. You are allowed to fill in as many ballots as you want but each one will cost $5. Last year the winner took in $85 and the last place finisher (Jamie M.) will receive free entry.

That being said I try to provide a bunch of info on the BM leading up to the Oscar’s to help out but keep in mind – NO ONE HAS SEEN ALL THE MOVIES & NO ONE HAS A CLUE. This is all educated guesses and just for shits and giggles and a bit of gold at the end of a small, small rainbow.

Tomorrow we have the moronic Golden Globes that really offer no insight into Oscar voting but it is fun to think so. It also will be a good watch as I am hopeful that Gervais is a bigger dick than at the Oscar’s as that is what I like. So here are the nominees for the movie categories and I have highlighted my non-educated guesses so that you can mock me on your own scorecard at home -


BEST PICTURE: DRAMA
  • The Help
  • Hugo
  • The Ides of March
  • Moneyball
  • War Horse
  • The Descendants
BEST PICTURE: COMEDY OR MUSICAL
  • The Artist
  • Bridesmaids
  • Midnight in Paris
  • My Week With Marilyn
  • 50/50
BEST DIRECTOR
  • George Clooney (“The Ides of March”)
  • Michel Hazanavicius (“The Artist”)
  • Alexander Payne (“The Descendants”)
  • Martin Scorsese (“Hugo”)
  • Woody Allen (“Midnight in Paris”)
BEST ACTOR: DRAMA
  • Leonardo Dicaprio (“J. Edgar”)
  • Michael Fassbender (“Shame”)
  • Ryan Gosling (“The Ides of March”)
  • Brad Pitt (“Moneyball”)
  • George Clooney (“The Descendants”)
BEST ACTRESS: DRAMA
  • Viola Davis (“The Help”)
  • Rooney Mara (“The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”)
  • Meryl Streep (“The Iron Lady”)
  • Tilda Swinton (“We Need to Talk About Kevin”)
  • Glenn Close (“Albert Nobbs”)
BEST ACTRESS: COMEDY OR MUSICAL
  • Charlize Theron (“Young Adult”)
  • Kristen Wiig (“Bridesmaids”)
  • Michelle Williams (“My Week With Marilyn”)
  • Kate Winslet (“Carnage”)
  • Jodie Foster (“Carnage”)
BEST ACTOR: COMEDY OR MUSICAL
  • Brendan Gleeson (“The Guard”)
  • Joseph Gordon-Levitt (“50/50”)
  • Ryan Gosling (“Crazy, Stupid, Love”)
  • Owen Wilson (“Midnight in Paris”)
  • Jean Dujardin (“The Artist”)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
  • Jessica Chastain (“The Help”)
  • Janet McTeer (“Albert Nobbs”)
  • Octavia Spencer (“The Help”)
  • Shailene Woodley (“The Descendants”)
  • Berenice Bejo (“The Artist”)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
  • Albert Brooks (“Drive”)
  • Jonah Hill (“Moneyball”)
  • Viggo Mortensen (“A Dangerous Method”)
  • Christopher Plummer (“Beginners”)
  • Kenneth Branagh (“My Week With Marilyn”)
BEST ANIMATED FILM
  • Arthur Christmas
  • Cars 2
  • Puss in Boots
  • Rango
  • The Adventures of Tintin
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
  • In The Land of Blood and Honey (USA)
  • The Kid With a Bike (Belgium)
  • A Separation (Iran)
  • The Skin I Live In (Spain)
  • The Flowers Of War (China)
BEST SCREENPLAY
  • The Descendants
  • The Ides of March
  • Midnight in Paris
  • Moneyball
  • The Artist
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
  • Abel Korzeniowski, “W.E.”
  • Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”
  • Howard Shore, “Hugo”
  • John Williams, “War Horse”
  • Ludovic Bource, “The Artist”
BEST ORIGINAL SONG
  • The Keeper, Machine Gun Preacher Music & Lyrics by Chris Cornell
  • Lay Your Head Down, Albert Nobbs Music by Brian Byrne, Lyrics by Glenn Close
  • The Living Proof, The Help Music by Thomas Newman, Mary J. Blige and Harvey Mason, Jr.; Lyrics by Mary J. Blige, Harvey Mason, Jr. and Damon Thomas
  • Masterpiece, W.E. Music & Lyrics by Madonna, Julie Frost and Jimmy Harry
  • Hello Hello, Gnomeo & Juliet Music by Elton John, Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

Airport Music

Posted on
1

Every day I thank Mr. Jobs for the iPod as I remember the days of lugging my newest discman through the airport along with 20 of my favorite CD’s and I can say it sucked.  The fact that I can walk around with my favorite 58.8gb’s worth of music makes life that much better.

On that note you need good airport music to put you in the right frame of mind.  Most people like to listen to tracks that calm them down or put them in a positive frame of mind. However, the BM is never looking for a positive frame of mind.  I am looking for shit to stimulate my senses or make me want to put a dull pencil in someone’s eye socket.  My newest “airport disc” is going to have to be There Is No Competition: Grieving Music; Mixtape 2 by Fabolous.  Track #2, I’m Raw, has some of the best lines ever including -

  • “It’s suspect as R. Kelly with girl scout cookies”
  • “You looking for your girl?  Oh she just left, her and my dick just became BFF’s and then I threw her out like Jazzy J E F F.
  • “My shit bananas like a monkey #2″

The rest is worth your time as he can turn a phrase like KW.  He also has an ability to ride a hard and pop edge at the same time and that is why he is killing it.

Thinking

Posted on
4

Getting ready to board my flight home from HK and then I have 2 full days at home before heading out to SF for another 5 days.  However, I am stoked to get back and paint as this trip and my “excursion” provided me with a bunch of ideas.  I am starting to develop paint fetishes and I think arches is going to be #1 for me for the next few items.